My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
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