I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Also, beer. Big fan.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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