Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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