YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
