is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize
