I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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