When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Randomize
