O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
