There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
All I want is dick and wine.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
