he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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