if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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