do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
