ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
