Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
