he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I think people are normalizing furries
Randomize
