You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
My liver just had a heart attack.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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