she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize