office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
