How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
I seem to have left my pride at pride
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
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