hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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