I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
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