dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
