So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Randomize
