A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Randomize
