I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
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