Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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