Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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