new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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