good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
