im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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