Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
