i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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