i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize
