I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
