Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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