apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
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