So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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