I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Randomize
