Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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