Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
