she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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