i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Randomize
