My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
