question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
