So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
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