just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
