I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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