i was born a porn star she said
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize
