so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
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