People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
