Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
