Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Randomize
