Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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