I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Randomize
