Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
These tits shall not be calmed
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
