OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize
