someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
did you just send me my own nude
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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