i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Never underestimate the power of titties
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