the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
